Borдt’s Guide to Make Impeachment of George W. Bush

 

 

 

 

    There are many reasons that Americans I meet want to impeach Bush.  I go over his policies now.

 

1. Did George Bush tell lies about reasons to start war?  The media may say that there were no WVD’s, but my crotch still itches from make romance in Iraqi prostitute.

 

2. Bush is against the gays getting to have marriage.  In my country gays want right to marry so they can be wife beater too. 

 

3.  Bad news, Bush allowed Gays to attend the Whitehouse Easter Egg Roll.  Good news, the Lesbians finally found use for their eggs.

 

4.  I saw picture of Bush with Mark Foley.  Foley make plumber snake in congressional page.  Foley want to date Gerber Baby.  Foley hit on Ann Coulter; thought it was undeveloped boy.

 

5. Bush met with the Rev. Ted Haggard lots a time.  Bush said no to some Meth because he thought it was “Fuzzy Meth.”  Haggard ordered a massage escort to Whitehouse for Bush and his boss Mr. Cheney.  In Bush’s six year presidential story, the only happy ending will have been from Ted’s full body masseuse. 

 

6. Bush has condoned torture against enemies.  In Kazakhstan we think nothing of forcing prisoners to read Ayn Rand.

 

7. What is so wrong with water boarding?  In Kazakhstan I must pay prostitute extra for golden showers.

 

8. Bush got rid of Geneva Confections.  Too bad, they sounded delicious.

 

9. Bush redefined the definition of “torture.”  I’d like to redefine “sex offender” to mean “someone who loves too much.”

 

10. Abu Ghraib was a Party Prison. Woa-woa-wee-wa.  Naked pictures of Iraqi Men Pyramids?  Abu Ghraib is Playboy Mansion of Prisons.  Porn, I like.  Donald Rumsfeld is just like Pornographer.  Both know that “no” means “yes.”  Both know that humiliation lead to success. 

 

11. Bush said Saddam was developing nuclear weapons.  Not true.  But we in Kazakhstan have created laser weapon.  We took the lid off a CD player and point at eyeball for long time.

 

12. Bush only got to name two Supreme Court Justices.  If he need to nominate a few more-- my brother is good at make “accidents.”  Then maybe the Court will erase my voter intimidation charge.  I had burned a cross across street from voting building to make advertisement for Republican Harry “T.” Cross.  I not understand why the Blacks complained, I didn’t see any vote that night.

 

13. Bush say that Conservatives want smaller government.  We don’t elect midgets in Kazakhstan.

 

14. Bush is against the abortion.  I am against abortion except in cases in rape, incest, or anything else I did Friday Night.  High-Five!  

 

So now use my reasons to draft Impeachment against Bush.  But Impeachment is not strong enough.  Bush should be taken out office and then put in jail.  A military jail.  I can’t wait to see the naked pictures of Bush and Rumsfeld in homosexual Pyramid.  Porn, I like!  No Geneva Confection, High-Five!

 

 

 

This work is a satire. 

Borat Character Copyright Sacha Baron Cohen